Pakxingudvegcat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, capable squid.

Pakxingudvegcat created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakxingudvegcat, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pakxingudvegcat, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Pakxingudvegcat's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Pakxingudvegcat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always share cherries with strangers, but never with manatees.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not wear dresses marked with white.