Ontbadrill is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, proud mongoose.

Ontbadrill created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontbadrill, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ontbadrill, she will refuse to believe in you.

Ontbadrill's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Ontbadrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick horses.

2. Never travel toward the east during winter.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near grasshopers while wearing indigo skirts and balancing three aluminium spheres on your arms.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never allow tortoises to sleep beneath your roof.