Flanarfcid is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, almighty human.

Flanarfcid created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flanarfcid, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flanarfcid, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Flanarfcid's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Flanarfcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

3. Always remove tights before touching copper.

4. Never chant while facing north.

5. Never speak at midday.