Lenbenwod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, happy hyena.

Lenbenwod created a top quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lenbenwod, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lenbenwod, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Lenbenwod's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Lenbenwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of names.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near ants while wearing white ear rings and balancing seven titanium spheres on your face.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Never talk about squirrels.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.