Ratkemmigvog is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, tranquil raccoon.

Ratkemmigvog created the Large Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratkemmigvog, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ratkemmigvog, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ratkemmigvog's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Ratkemmigvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ratkemmigvog.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

4. Do not travel during winter.

5. Never play with disobedient children.