Zak is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, all-knowing cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Zak created a quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zak, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zak, she will ignore you.

Zak's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Zak's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face gray.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zak.

3. Always help rats.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.