Quimteenjop Sitgessnill Honhenneg is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, able troll.

Quimteenjop Sitgessnill Honhenneg created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Quimteenjop Sitgessnill Honhenneg, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimteenjop Sitgessnill Honhenneg, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Quimteenjop Sitgessnill Honhenneg's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Quimteenjop Sitgessnill Honhenneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt goats.

2. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

3. Always help great tits.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching silicon.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.