Sanxucmis Gutbepkikvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, two-faced zebra.

Sanxucmis Gutbepkikvonk created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sanxucmis Gutbepkikvonk, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sanxucmis Gutbepkikvonk, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Sanxucmis Gutbepkikvonk's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Sanxucmis Gutbepkikvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Worship no other gods but Sanxucmis Gutbepkikvonk.

4. Feed all hungry geese.

5. You must never eat strawberries.