Hitstikhog is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, strong aardvark.

Hitstikhog created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitstikhog, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hitstikhog, it will turn you into a tree.

Hitstikhog's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Hitstikhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never mix limes with blood.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about frogs.