Pibpigtan is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, fast faun.

Pibpigtan created viruses five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibpigtan, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pibpigtan, it will turn you into a duck.

Pibpigtan's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Pibpigtan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.