Appdapmif is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, slow goblin.

Appdapmif created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Appdapmif, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Appdapmif, he will turn you into a tree.

Appdapmif's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Appdapmif's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain obedience during holy days.

2. Never mark doors with blue.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Never fashion tools from stone.