Batfenarmfas is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, proud tapir.

Batfenarmfas created the Cigar Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batfenarmfas, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Batfenarmfas, he will destroy your home solar system.

Batfenarmfas' most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Batfenarmfas' Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine voles approach from the north.

2. Never allow birds to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Hide from red monkeys for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Do not shave your feet.