Ganpinran is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, all-knowing dragon.

Ganpinran created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganpinran, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ganpinran, he will turn you into a puffin.

Ganpinran's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Ganpinran's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Ganpinran in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Doves are not to be trusted.

4. Never feed bread to sheep while wearing skirts.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.