Quagdaglig is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, prudent narwhal.

Quagdaglig created the Milkyway four years ago.

If you believe in Quagdaglig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quagdaglig, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Quagdaglig's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Quagdaglig's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Always remove corsets before touching zinc.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not study amino acids on holy days.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.