Bonkhivbat is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, fussy gnu.

Bonkhivbat created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkhivbat, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bonkhivbat, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bonkhivbat's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bonkhivbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Hide from indigo manatees for they are unholy.

3. Always obey Bonkhivbat's priests.

4. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.

5. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.