Dapkarbarn Konweejab Stikgangad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omnipotent tortoise.

Dapkarbarn Konweejab Stikgangad created a down quark four years ago.

If you believe in Dapkarbarn Konweejab Stikgangad, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dapkarbarn Konweejab Stikgangad, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Dapkarbarn Konweejab Stikgangad's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Dapkarbarn Konweejab Stikgangad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.