Hothakquillbell is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic lobster.

Hothakquillbell created the Sunflower Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hothakquillbell, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hothakquillbell, he will not invite you to parties.

Hothakquillbell's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Hothakquillbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not jump at mountains.

3. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not hurt otters.