Motmitgut is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, overgenerous crab.

Motmitgut created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Motmitgut, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Motmitgut, he will turn you into a dog.

Motmitgut's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Motmitgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of names.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not eat corn.