Gomfudlam is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, omnipotent mole.

Gomfudlam created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gomfudlam, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gomfudlam, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gomfudlam's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Gomfudlam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair brown.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

3. Always maintain humility during holy days.

4. Do not kill squirrels.

5. Always wear orange.