Basstipmob Yakzakfud is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-confident rat.

Basstipmob Yakzakfud created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Basstipmob Yakzakfud, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Basstipmob Yakzakfud, he will torture you forever.

Basstipmob Yakzakfud's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Basstipmob Yakzakfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at bridges at dusk.

2. Never touch blood while blessed.

3. Do not step barefoot upon yellow earth.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always help sharks.