Zedsterjab Stigbantad is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, loving meerkat.

Zedsterjab Stigbantad created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedsterjab Stigbantad, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zedsterjab Stigbantad, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Zedsterjab Stigbantad's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Zedsterjab Stigbantad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place lemons upon stone.

2. Always help frogs in need.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never adorn your hands with brown markings.

5. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.