Zogqueegtip is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, moody butterfly.

Zogqueegtip created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogqueegtip, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zogqueegtip, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Zogqueegtip's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Zogqueegtip's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zogqueegtip.

2. Never pray while filled with fear.

3. Do not eat figs.

4. Never feed carrots to otters while wearing dresses.

5. Do not kill turtles.