Davlargyam Poggamdot Ragxemquim is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, smart zebra.

Davlargyam Poggamdot Ragxemquim created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Davlargyam Poggamdot Ragxemquim, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Davlargyam Poggamdot Ragxemquim, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Davlargyam Poggamdot Ragxemquim's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Davlargyam Poggamdot Ragxemquim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never mark doors with mauve.

5. Do not speak of thermodynamics near sacred fires.