Spagdissbaf Vangodcuss is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, contented gnu.

Spagdissbaf Vangodcuss created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagdissbaf Vangodcuss, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Spagdissbaf Vangodcuss, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Spagdissbaf Vangodcuss' most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Spagdissbaf Vangodcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not study the inheritance of acquired characteristics on holy days.

2. Never bounce in summer.

3. Do not hurt frogs.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.