Bedjinlip Nurtgupdim is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, boastful elephant.

Bedjinlip Nurtgupdim created Asia six million years ago.

If you believe in Bedjinlip Nurtgupdim, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bedjinlip Nurtgupdim, he will cry a lot.

Bedjinlip Nurtgupdim's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bedjinlip Nurtgupdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Never speak at midday.

3. Never chant near porpoises.

4. Do not travel during autumn.

5. Never discuss nucleic acids in public assemblies.