Voltimtom is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, competent fish.

Voltimtom created a down quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Voltimtom, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Voltimtom, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Voltimtom's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Voltimtom's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Voltimtom's priests.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Voltimtom.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Worship no other gods but Voltimtom.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near doves while wearing red corsets.