Bifflabbet is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, resourceful deer.

Bifflabbet created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifflabbet, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bifflabbet, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Bifflabbet's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bifflabbet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

2. Do not speak about pineapples.

3. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

4. Do not hop in public.

5. Do not chop down trees.