Dogwikyok is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, generous tapir.

Dogwikyok created the universe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogwikyok, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dogwikyok, he will think nothing of it.

Dogwikyok's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Dogwikyok's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always store gooseberries above ground.

3. Never mark doors with mauve.

4. Never sprint near voles.

5. Always help badgers in need.