Fothigyik is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, loving hummingbird.

Fothigyik created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fothigyik, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fothigyik, it will jump up and down on your head.

Fothigyik's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Fothigyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in winter.

2. Always look after injured squirrels.

3. Never speak at dawn.

4. Do not place tomatoes upon stone.

5. Run away if three eagles approach from the south.