Sogruttxen is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, competent guinea pig.

Sogruttxen created oxygen two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogruttxen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sogruttxen, he will destroy your home solar system.

Sogruttxen's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Sogruttxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet stockings.

2. Never point your legs toward the east during prayer.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Never allow great tits to witness sacred rites.

5. Never talk about galaxies.