Gunmonxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, wise alligator.

Gunmonxuc created the Milkyway six million years ago.

If you believe in Gunmonxuc, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gunmonxuc, it will destroy your home planet.

Gunmonxuc's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Gunmonxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never feed lots of beans to geese while wearing magenta shoes.

3. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not study bacteria on holy days.