Mumpassan is a god.

She takes the form of a small, moody lion.

Mumpassan created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumpassan, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mumpassan, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Mumpassan's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Mumpassan's Holy Commandments

1. Mumpassan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Erect four nickel sculptures of Mumpassan on top of important buildings.

4. Never eat peas on days of mourning.

5. Do not name children after mites.