Queegcancem is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, ruthless jaguar.

Queegcancem created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegcancem, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Queegcancem, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Queegcancem's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Queegcancem's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Queegcancem's priests.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Never touch oil while blessed.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Queegcancem on top of all buildings.