Ceptargbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, all-powerful beaver.

Ceptargbarn created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ceptargbarn, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ceptargbarn, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Ceptargbarn's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Ceptargbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never speak aloud of secrets.