Ripnartbed is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, ill-tempered skunk.

Ripnartbed created the Sombrero Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripnartbed, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ripnartbed, he will come to you in dreams.

Ripnartbed's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Ripnartbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never curse while facing south.

2. Never stain your head with brown.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near badgers while wearing indigo tights and balancing three lead spheres on your chest.

4. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

5. Do not take Ripnartbed's name in vain.