Benponfig Naryimcad is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, benevolent eagle.

Benponfig Naryimcad created the Sun nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Benponfig Naryimcad, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Benponfig Naryimcad, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Benponfig Naryimcad's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Benponfig Naryimcad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. You must love Benponfig Naryimcad.

3. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always maintain obedience during holy days.