Ganmutgab is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring deer.

Ganmutgab created the Andromeda Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ganmutgab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ganmutgab, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Ganmutgab's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Ganmutgab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to great tits while wearing white coats.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Do not take Ganmutgab's name in vain.

4. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

5. Never think about special relativity near shrews while wearing yellow ear rings and balancing eight platinum spheres on your legs.