Figomtbot Cussomtyat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, self-assured hamster.

Figomtbot Cussomtyat created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Figomtbot Cussomtyat, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Figomtbot Cussomtyat, he will turn you into a goat.

Figomtbot Cussomtyat's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Figomtbot Cussomtyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in spring.

2. Do not prepare tomatoes while wearing corsets.

3. Never carve symbols of nebulae into wood.

4. Never speak of chaos in the presence of priests.

5. Never talk about special relativity near doves while wearing indigo coats and balancing five gold spheres on your back.