Listdudhud Cisspibhap is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, astonishing seal.

Listdudhud Cisspibhap created humankind five billion years ago.

If you believe in Listdudhud Cisspibhap, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Listdudhud Cisspibhap, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Listdudhud Cisspibhap's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Listdudhud Cisspibhap's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse blood with water.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near nematodes while wearing brown hats and balancing six iron spheres on your legs.

3. Always obey Listdudhud Cisspibhap's priests.

4. Never allow porpoises to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Bats are not to be trusted.