Jipbedmut is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, calm dugong.

Jipbedmut created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipbedmut, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jipbedmut, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jipbedmut's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Jipbedmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black jumpers on sacred days.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not record numbers concerning comets.

4. Never feed grapes to tortoises while wearing cyan trousers.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.