Bosstonmangempakmip Siddamzig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, fast monkey.

Bosstonmangempakmip Siddamzig created the planet Jupiter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bosstonmangempakmip Siddamzig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bosstonmangempakmip Siddamzig, it will curse you with boils.

Bosstonmangempakmip Siddamzig's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bosstonmangempakmip Siddamzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during winter.

2. Always act with obedience.

3. Never eat lemons.

4. Never fashion tools from wood.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.