Wappagveenxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, stupid tapir.

Wappagveenxuc created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wappagveenxuc, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wappagveenxuc, he will turn you into a goat.

Wappagveenxuc's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Wappagveenxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather six nematodes near towers.

2. Wappagveenxuc loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

5. Do not consume wheat at dawn.