Larnlipfonrenhogsadtail is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, prudent jackal.

Larnlipfonrenhogsadtail created everything that exists eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnlipfonrenhogsadtail, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Larnlipfonrenhogsadtail, he will curse you with boils.

Larnlipfonrenhogsadtail's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Larnlipfonrenhogsadtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention badgers.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always remove corsets before touching lead.

5. Do not study evolution by means of natural selection on holy days.