Gessbugkab is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, all-knowing narwhal.

Gessbugkab created the Cigar Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessbugkab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gessbugkab, it will turn you into a rock.

Gessbugkab's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gessbugkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat coconuts.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

4. You must never eat peas.

5. Never approach crossroads carrying wood.