Fitcincud is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, resourceful dolphin.

Fitcincud created the planet Mars two million years ago.

If you believe in Fitcincud, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fitcincud, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Fitcincud's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Fitcincud's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never leap in the presence of badgers.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near manatees while wearing red tights and balancing six tin spheres on your legs.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.