Tammiglakjapduddon is a god.

She takes the form of a large, ill-tempered bird.

Tammiglakjapduddon created the universe four years ago.

If you believe in Tammiglakjapduddon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tammiglakjapduddon, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tammiglakjapduddon's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Tammiglakjapduddon's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tammiglakjapduddon.

2. Do not consume apples at dawn.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not prepare coconuts while wearing kilts.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.