Govtontit is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, humane elephant.

Govtontit created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Govtontit, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Govtontit, he will send you a sign.

Govtontit's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Govtontit's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your neck before prayer.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Govtontit.

3. Always store melons above ground.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.