Ontnabflag is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, awe-inspiring lizard.

Ontnabflag created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontnabflag, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ontnabflag, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Ontnabflag's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Ontnabflag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never hurt aardvarks.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Always pray immersed in water.