Sanmistam is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, moody snake.

Sanmistam created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sanmistam, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sanmistam, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sanmistam's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Sanmistam's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle gold while unclean.

2. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

3. Never wear turquoise jumpers.

4. Do not consume limes at dawn.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.