Stafpangquag is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable centaur.

Stafpangquag created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Stafpangquag, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stafpangquag, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Stafpangquag's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Stafpangquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never travel toward the north during winter.

3. Do not travel during spring.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.